February 18, 2011

Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp to Star in Movie Together, Bring Women Everywhere to Tear-gasms

"It's finally happening," says 39-year old Julie Seyers of Elkhart, Indiana. "It's my most beautiful dream coming true."

Rumors about a film starring two of the most prominent actors of the last two decades arose in an online forum discussion titled "OOOOMaG! JoHnNy n BrAd 2getha SOOOOON!!!!!"

"Except, in the dream version, I'm in between them. And there's a lot of non-toxic oils involved," the mother of two continues.

A blogger with the username Brand_Pijol, a less-popular portmanteau of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, tweeted the post, adding that the film will be "offfffff the hooooooook sexAY!"

"Oh, the things that we do to each other. Sometimes it's me and Johnny. Sometimes it's me and Brad," says Seyers, who celebrated her 12-year anniversary with her husband, Paul, in January. "And other times, it's just Johnny and Brad."

Several of the web's most reliable sources, including TMZ and Perez Hilton, have since confirmed that Depp and Pitt are signed on to co-star, with Ashton Kutcher, Leo DeCaprio, and Ryan Reynolds filling the supporting roles. George Clooney and Denzel Washington will reportedly make cameos.

This will be the first time the two 47-year-old heartbreakers have shared the screen since 1988, when a then twenty-something Pitt appeared on 21 Jump Street.

"That Brad is such a tease sometimes," adds Seyers, now 20 minutes late for picking her son up from soccer practice. "But Johnny...he's down-to-business. They compliment each other well."

It remains unclear how the superstars were brought together for the project, though some speculate it was a connection through Angelina Jolie, who recently starred alongside Depp in The Tourist, that made it happen.

The as-of-yet untitled project will feature both stars "shirtless in sophisticated situations," according to every comments section of the World Wide Web.


  1. The film is going to need a memorable villian. Is Gary Oldman ruggedly handsome enough?

  2. "And other times, it's just Johnny and Brad."

    LOL. :D

    The important question, of course, is how the media will report them together... like the ever famous Branjelina, would they opt for Brapp, which sounds like a burp gone wrong, or Johtt, which sounds like a military exercise.

    Of course, if they manage to squeeze in (no pun intended, yeah right) Leonardo into the mix, then the option seems clear enough... Brapprio...

    I guess the naming department is gonna have their hands full on this one.